I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You made out with two different species that night
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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