Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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