dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Bring me that man meat
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
