sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
