True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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