Whod you bang
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
