yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
