They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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