We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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