summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
