I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
