Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
