Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
