sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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