The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
