areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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