you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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