I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
