Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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