used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
