She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
