So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Holy sore nipples Batman
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
