Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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