Just fell off a train. Bad.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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