I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
