so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
