Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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