I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
