threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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