I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
