I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
