the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
