Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
