WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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