me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Randomize
