if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
