im having a threesome with these popsicles
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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