She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
