this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My pussy is not your playground.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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