And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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