he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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