He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
