I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
