after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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