Can Purell be used as lube?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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