I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I will be naked everywhere
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
