what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
