I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
