that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
either way he was missing a nipple.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
