when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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