no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
