Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
