theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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