champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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